![]() Two years into Brodie and Peter's relationship, they decided to stop using contraception and try for a baby. "He told me all the time that it was all in my head, that I had issues. I thought I was definitely crazy, that maybe because of my past relationship I was just having insecurities about trusting somebody." Frequently, he cancelled plans at the last minute.Īlarm bells were ringing for Brodie but whenever she confronted him he would come up with plausible stories, tell her she was the problem, "gaslight" her. On weekends, he popped in then left: he didn't want to leave his parents for too long or had to be with his children. Peter visited her three nights a week but never slept over he said his parents needed him. Revealing my vulnerabilities and my shame was difficult but I felt compelled to share my story: the more I came to understand his jaw-dropping behaviour, the more important I decided it was to describe it so other women might learn to identify red flags and swerve away from similar relationships. In the book, I unfold my story of "Joe"*, a man I met through a dating app. I shared my own love story that ended as a detective story in my 2019 book Fake: A startling true story of love in a world of liars, cheats, narcissists, fantasists and phonies. It was only then they learned about the mental disorders this behaviour matches: antisocial or narcissistic personality disorder. In almost every case, chinks in the men's stories grew until the women became detectives and investigated their ex-partners, often bonding with an "other woman" in the process. "I just think that was his way of life," says Genevieve, reflecting on Chris's behaviour. Yet, amazingly, financial fraud is rarely their motivation for the deception - few of the men I've been told about asked for money. Frequently, after years in a relationship, women discover that almost everything their husbands or partners told them was fiction. These are just some of hundreds of stories I've heard from women who have survived devastating relationships with emotional abusers - manipulative serial predators who tell extraordinary lies, often in the service of building and maintaining fake personas. I don't think he had one sincere bone in his body," Genevieve told me during a recent Zoom conversation. Chris told Genevieve he was a wealthy businessman and polo player with a grand house in England he too said he had been in the special forces - and had shot someone. Mark told Natasha he was a senior executive at a major company and had multiple investment properties. Helen fell in love with Craig, who told her he was in the special forces. The endless stories I've heard: Gordon told Judith his work required him to spend chunks of time interstate and overseas for his consultancy work.
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